Lily [to Marshall]: Hey you want to go do it in Barney's childhood bed again?
Barney: My race car bed?
Marshall: It handles great buddy

Lily Pad? We're having a boy!

Marshall

We're gonna need a bigger booth.

Marshall

Robin: Let me ask you something, Ted... why are you so much madder at Barney than me?
Lily: Yeah... she had just as much sex with Barney as Barney had with her!
Robin: You know what, I'm not sure that's true

Ted: We can do it against the door. It will be hot. It will be like a three-way: you, me and the door.
Stella: Yeah, but then it's going to be weird between me and the door tomorrow

[Marshall's cell phone rings]
Marshall: Hey buddy...I'm married Barney, I cannot be your new wingman.
[Robin's cell phone rings]
Robin: No

I'm the real lucky guy because I married my dad.

Marshall

Marshall: God sent those lice to my head like he sent the locust to Egypt: to liberate me from corporate bondage. Miracle

Stella: So, my sister broke up with her boyfriend.
Ted: Well, now I can finally say it: I hated that guy! Everything out of his mouth is 'I'm a vegan!', 'Fish feel pain!', 'I'm never constipated!'. That guy's an idiot.
Stella: Actually, she's marrying him. I just wanted your honest opinion.
Ted: He's actually a really nice guy. There's a wisdom

HIMYM Quotes

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney