How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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You're going to break his... you're going to break whatever it is that pumps that black sludge through his veins

Lily [to Robin about Barney]

Ted: So you guys absolutely don't think I should call her?
Group: Ted, no!
Ted: Interesting piece of trivia... I called her.

Barney, when you were three I left you with a babysitter and spent three weeks with Grand Funk Railroad being passed around like a bong

Loretta (Barney's Mom)

Lily [to Marshall]: Hey you want to go do it in Barney's childhood bed again?
Barney: My race car bed?
Marshall: It handles great buddy

Lily Pad? We're having a boy!

Marshall

We're gonna need a bigger booth.

Marshall

Robin: Let me ask you something, Ted... why are you so much madder at Barney than me?
Lily: Yeah... she had just as much sex with Barney as Barney had with her!
Robin: You know what, I'm not sure that's true

Ted: We can do it against the door. It will be hot. It will be like a three-way: you, me and the door.
Stella: Yeah, but then it's going to be weird between me and the door tomorrow

I'm the real lucky guy because I married my dad.

Marshall
Displaying quotes 1441 - 1449 of 1449 in total

HIMYM Quotes

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney