Favorite How I Met Your Mother Quotes
Barney, when you were three I left you with a babysitter and spent three weeks with Grand Funk Railroad being passed around like a bongLoretta (Barney's Mom)
Lily [to Marshall]: Hey you want to go do it in Barney's childhood bed again?
Barney: My race car bed?
Marshall: It handles great buddy
I'm the real lucky guy because I married my dad.Marshall
Robin: Let me ask you something, Ted... why are you so much madder at Barney than me?
Lily: Yeah... she had just as much sex with Barney as Barney had with her!
Robin: You know what, I'm not sure that's true
Ted: We can do it against the door. It will be hot. It will be like a three-way: you, me and the door.
Stella: Yeah, but then it's going to be weird between me and the door tomorrow
[Marshall's cell phone rings]
Marshall: Hey buddy...I'm married Barney, I cannot be your new wingman.
[Robin's cell phone rings]
Marshall: God sent those lice to my head like he sent the locust to Egypt: to liberate me from corporate bondage. Miracle
Stella: So, my sister broke up with her boyfriend.
Ted: Well, now I can finally say it: I hated that guy! Everything out of his mouth is 'I'm a vegan!', 'Fish feel pain!', 'I'm never constipated!'. That guy's an idiot.
Stella: Actually, she's marrying him. I just wanted your honest opinion.
Ted: He's actually a really nice guy. There's a wisdom
Ted [about sleeping with Robin]: By the way, my mother is coming to visit next week. Maybe you would like to nail her too!?
Barney: Are you saying you don't want to be bros anymore?
Ted: I'm saying I don't want to be friends anymore