Favorite How I Met Your Mother Quotes
You dumped a porn star? Friendship over. Friendship over!Barney
I've always looked drop dead stone cold amazing - unlike Marshall who always looked dead, stoned, and cold.Barney
'Twas the night before this one, and hours to killTed
I sat in the tavern, grading parchments with quill
A busty young lassie flashed me a grin
Her garb said "classy," but her eyes whispered "sin."
She said, "You're a teacher?" I said, "Yes, indeed!"
"I must have you!" she moaned, "I'm turned on by tweed!"
With haste we did scamper to my chamber anon,
We fell to the couch, and bro, it was on.
I unlaced her bodice, our passions grew deeper,
And thus ends the tale of The Sexless Innkeeper.
Hey hey hey hey, spiders got to die, so trees can grow.Ted
Barney: I met a girl last night. So perky and full of life and not at all fake.
Ted: You're talking about her boobs, right?
Barney: C. And that wasn't Spanish, that was cup size. What up?
He may not fit society's definition of a hero, but he is the hero I needed. The hero who helped me recover from the disaster of my failed almost-marriage and get back into the game. He lives in the shadows. Is he a dream? Truth? Fiction? Damnation? Salvation? He is all these things and none of them. He is...The Naked ManTed
Nothing in this life quite compares to the sweet exhilaration of making your move. When you just put it all on the line and go for it.Ted voiceover
Barney: And stop shouting, you're scaring Cottontail.
Ted: You named the rabbit?
Barney: You took longer to get here than I thought, we bonded and I'm keeping her.
Fun fact. Highest rated Monty and Moo-Moo episode ever.Ted
Oh my God, you have a monocle! Is this real? Is this really happening? Good luck killing James Bond.Ted
What kind of name is ZoÃ«? What is that short for Zoseph?Ted
Patrice: He's so dreamy.
Robin: Nobody asked you Patrice!