Ted: So, last night Robin left the pizza box out on the floor, so we had sex three times.
Marshall: Sure.
Ted: And then this morning, before I left for work, we kissed.
Marshall: Oh, that's weird. That is weird!

• Permalink: So, last night Robin left the pizza box out on the floor, so we ...
• Added: May 20, 2009

Barney: So I explained to her, I said Madelin, every single international conflict essentially boils down to sexual tension
Ted: Every international conflict?
Barney: Every single one, dude
Ted: So the crisis in the middle east could be solved by?
Barney: Gaza Strippers. Next.
Ted: Apartheid?
Barney: Apart Thighs? What else you got?
Ted: Cold war.
Barney: Ms. Gorbachev, Take Down Those Pants

• Permalink: So I explained to her, I said Madelin, every single internationa...
• Added: January 13, 2009

You're right, super hot lady that my wife keeps telling me why you're famous but I keep forgetting

Marshall [to Kim Kardashian]

• Permalink: You're right, super hot lady that my wife keeps telling me why y...
• Added: January 13, 2009