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How-i-met-your-mother

Ted [about Barney and Robin]: You do realize that they were lying to you
Lily: No, they don't realize that they weren't lying

Unless I say fluggelhorn, you haven't gone too far

Robin

T-dawg, you're in the wrong room bro

Student [to Professor Mosby]

Just once I wish you guys would call me on tuxedo night

Marshall

I'm always punching guys, girls, I'll even punch a baby, I don't care

Barney

Barney: How do you keep a girl from becoming your girlfriend? Simple, the rules for girls are the same as gremlins. Rule number one: never get them wet. In otherwards, don't let her take a shower in your place. Rule number two: keep them away from sunlight. i.e don't ever see them during the day. And rule number three: never feed them after midnight. Meaning she doesn't sleep over and you don't have breakfast with her, ever
Ted: What about brunch? Is brunch cool?
Barney: No Ted, brunch is not cool

Barney: You still seeing that guy?
Robin: Even better, seeing him naked
Barney: I shoud go see this Chinese girl I met.. I just had her last night and I already feel like seconds

That, my friends, is the dominator 5000, the best bull whip on the market according to my whip guy. Yeah, I have a whip guy. [makes whip sound]

Barney

We kept trying to have the talk, and then we realized we hate the talk.

Robin
Displaying all 9 quotes

How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Episode 1 Quotes

That, my friends, is the dominator 5000, the best bull whip on the market according to my whip guy. Yeah, I have a whip guy. [makes whip sound]

Barney

We kept trying to have the talk, and then we realized we hate the talk.

Robin
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