Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

You're looking at the new coin flip bimbo, POW POW POW POW POW.

Robin

When your friends have great news you're happy for them for like a millisecond and then you start thinking about yourself.

Ted

The first Currency rotation Specialist went on to be a semifinalist on The Bachelor and then she lost like a hundred pounds on The Biggest Loser and now she's totally winning Celebrity Rehab.

Robin

Ted: Robin have you forgotten your new year's resolution?
Robin: I am never going to drink again...
Ted: No before that.
Robin: I am going to finish this entire bottle tonight.
Ted: No before that.

Robin, you need to check yourself before you Trebek yourself.

Ted

Oh, do you take One to be your lawfully wedded wife? Oh god I'm freaking out why did I chose Ted to be my best man?

Robin

Hey I've been giving this some serious thought and I think I know how we can crush these floral arrangements.

Ted

Hey can I ask you a question that has plagued me for years? Can girls aim?

Marshall

Marshall: Are you sure you did it right?
Lily: Is there a wrong way to pee on a stick?

Displaying quotes 10 - 18 of 19 in total