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How-i-met-your-mother

Victoria: Well boyfriends, I've only had 2.
Robin: Prude alert!
Victoria: Well, that's serious boyfriends, I've dated other guys in between.
Robin: Slut alert!

Believe it or not, I was not always as awesome as I am today

Barney

Lily: You ralphed and ran?
Marshall: I thought you were vomit free since 93. So that was a lie.
Robin: You re-returned for me. That's really sweet, though you kinda ruined my customized Scherbatsky doormat

Hi, leg warehouse? Yeah, my friend Ted needs something to stand on... So, nothing for him to stand on? Ok, thanks so much

Barney [making a fake phone call]

Plus, here's the mini-cherry on top of the regular cherry on top of the sundae of awesomeness that is my life

Barney

My life rocks! Money, suits, and sex? These are tears of joy! I could be cooped up in an apartment, changing some brat's poopy diaper but instead I'm out in the world being awesome 24/7/365! You let me dodge a bullet, big guy

Barney

Victoria, that was an honest and mature answer. You may advance to the Gumdrop Mountains

Marshall

Victoria: I will tell you my most humiliating story.
Marshall: Yeah, Victoria! Way to step up.
Victoria: OK, it involves a game of Truth or Dare, a squeeze bottle of marshmallow ice cream topping, and the hot tub at my grandparent's retirement community.
Future Ted: ... Kids, I tell you a lot of inappropriate stories, but there's no way I'm telling you this one. Don't worry, it wasn't that great...
Marshall: That is the greatest story ever!

Marshall: Well, we have the whole place to ourselves...
Lily: I'm thinking...floor sex!
Marshall: Sounds reasonable

We spend so much effort trying to keep parts of our lives hidden, even from our closest friends, that those rare times when we do open up, it's amazing how minor those secrets all end up being

Future Ted

Backgammon sucks. I took the only good part of backgammon, the gammon, and I left the rest of it in the trash where it belongs

Marshall

Barney: Ladies, gentlemen, Ted. This has been a wonderful evening. I got great dirt on all you guys. I got Ted to tell the Re-return. I finally nailed Shannon. Told her I'd call her tomorrow...yeah, right! And I rediscovered how awesomely awesome my life is. Peace out, hombres!
Marshall: I think Barney just won game night

Displaying all 12 quotes

How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 15 Quotes

Victoria: I will tell you my most humiliating story.
Marshall: Yeah, Victoria! Way to step up.
Victoria: OK, it involves a game of Truth or Dare, a squeeze bottle of marshmallow ice cream topping, and the hot tub at my grandparent's retirement community.
Future Ted: ... Kids, I tell you a lot of inappropriate stories, but there's no way I'm telling you this one. Don't worry, it wasn't that great...
Marshall: That is the greatest story ever!

Backgammon sucks. I took the only good part of backgammon, the gammon, and I left the rest of it in the trash where it belongs

Marshall
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