Barney: God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, but I know a lot of girls call out your name because of me. Awesome• Rating: 9.7 / 10 • Permalink
Marshall [looking inside Barney's "Not a Fathers Day" card]: It appears to be some sort of Asian hooker.
Barney: Yes, because on Not a Fathers Day, you get a Thai you'd actually wear! Wordplay five!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Robin: Anytime you even hear the word kids you get two little lactation stains on your shirt.
Ted: Thank God you're not a mom. You are such an ice queen, any baby nursing from you would get brain freeze!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney [referring to possibly impregnating a woman]: Lily, no part of Barney Stinson does less than 110%. If one of my Michael Phelps' got loose, he's goin' for the gold!
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 4
