How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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Ted: She's still talking to Carlos... I can still win this, it's not over!
Lily: Okay, buddy, time for the tough talk... Robin seems great. But let's look at the facts, you wanna get married. And right now there's a million women in New York looking for exactly you... but Robin ain't one of them

Lily: Hey I'm just sitting here. Wearing my ring. Me beautiful ring. Kinda makes wearing other stuff seem wrong... my shirt. Kinda don't wanna wear my shirt any more. Or my underwear. Oh, that's right, I'm not wearing any.
Marshall: (Stops working and looks at Lily) No underwear?
Lily: Not even slightly.
Ted: Guys. Boundaries

Ted: You know it's so funny I ran into you. We're having a party next Friday if you'd like to swing by, but, you know, whatever.
Robin: Oh, I'm going back home next weekand. Too bad it's not tonight.
Ted: It is, it's tonight. This Friday. Did I say next Friday? Sorry, 'cause I've been saying next Friday all week. But yeah it's tonight; the party is tonight. But, you know, whatever

Ted: Hey, don't you have a paper to write?
Marshall: Dude, you're talking to The Kid. I'm gonna knock back this beer. I'm gonna knock back one more beer. I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna write a 25-page paper. I'm gonna hand it in and I'm gonna get an A. My name is Rufus and that's the Trufus.
Older Ted: He got a B-, but still. 25 pages in one night? B-? The Kid was good

Hey, where the hell is my...oh! OK. Introduction to Contract Tort and Restitution Statutes from 1865 to 1923 is not a coaster! Ted! I'm jeopardizing my law career so you can throw, not one, not two, but three parties for some girl that you just met who's probably not even going to show up. I mean, where is she, Ted, huh? Where's Robin? [turns around and sees Robin] Hi. Hi, Robin


Barney: Solid plan, my little friend.
Ted: We're the same height

Marshall: So, Gatsby, what are you going to do when Robin shows up?
Ted: OK, I got it all planned out. She steps through the door, and where's Ted? Not eagerly waiting by the door. No, I'm across the room at my drafting table, showing some foxy young thing all my cool architecture stuff. So Robin strolls over and I casually give her one of these "Hey, what's up?" She says "Hey, nice place, et cetera, et cetera." And then I say "Well, make yourself at home" and I casually return to my conversation. Then, an hour later, "Oh, you're still here," I say, like I don't really care, but it's a nice surprise. And then, very casually, "Wanna see the roof?"

Ted: I just gotta bump into her somewhere. Now if only I knew her schedule, I could arrange a chance encounter.
Lily: That's great, Ted. You'll be the most casual stalker ever

Barney: Oh, and Lily, that's my leg.
Lily: You waited five minutes to tell me that?

Lily: Look who I ran into.
Ted: Since when do you guys know each other?
Robin: Since about, here. [points to top of glass]

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