How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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Oprah wasn't built in a day.

Lily

Who's poppin' a chub for some grub?

Nick

Wingmanship is a two way street.

Barney

Sorry we're late. We just came from the tailor. Brover couldn't settle on a tie so I just bought them all. You say no to that face!

Barney

Two scotches, both neat. And if you've got some nuts, this guy lost a couple. Ha ha, take the hit, just take the hit.

Barney

Lily: Look Ted, it gets exhausting constantly giving people advice they haven't asked for, so I'm training Marshall
Marshall: My goal is to eventually say things that are so sassy and wise, that there is no possible response other than Mm or Mmhm. And if this is a place where we can share our dreams, I like to think that it is, I hope someday, to earn a...testify!

Ted: Why wouldn't she just come right out and say what she wants?
Marshall: Men! It's like if there weren't pickle jars to open and spiders to kill and computers to back up, what would be their point?
Lily: MmHm.

Ted: Victoria is happy we're taking things slow.
Marshall: Oh oh honey sweetie baby. No thirty-two year old woman is happy taking things slow. Trust me, Victoria has got friends from high school posting pictures of second babies on Facebook and you think girlfriend's all like, oh lets just bone a bunch so I'm another year older and still single? Bitch please!

Displaying all 8 quotes

How I Met Your Mother Season 8 Episode 5 Quotes

Ted: Why wouldn't she just come right out and say what she wants?
Marshall: Men! It's like if there weren't pickle jars to open and spiders to kill and computers to back up, what would be their point?
Lily: MmHm.

Ted: Victoria is happy we're taking things slow.
Marshall: Oh oh honey sweetie baby. No thirty-two year old woman is happy taking things slow. Trust me, Victoria has got friends from high school posting pictures of second babies on Facebook and you think girlfriend's all like, oh lets just bone a bunch so I'm another year older and still single? Bitch please!

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