How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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Barney: I picked the right tie didn't I?
Ted: You nailed it.

Marshall: There's babies everywhere. It's like a minefield of cuteness. Look at this little bastard.
Lily: This sonofabitch has knee dimples! Let's go tell everyone I'm pregnant!

The only person who loves Ted Mosby more than Marshall Eriksen, is drunk Marshall Eriksen!


Lily: You're drinking for two tonight baby.
Marshall: I will do this, for the child.

This isn't just getting laid. This is market research.


Barney: Here's your toast, single file ladies! No fatties!
Ted: That's ridiculous.
Barney: Yeah you're right, it's Cleveland. Single file ladies!

Ted, you want to nail something at this wedding? Lose the Trapper Keeper!


The happy couple needs to hear this! Things end, but from the ashes of your statistically probable divorce, hope can rise anew.


Wow Marshall really took a two-flusher on that one!


Oh thank God! Barney Stinson needs you right before his wedding, you assume there's at least one dead stripper in the closet.

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