How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
Try it Now for Free and Instantly Watch How I Met Your Mother.

Barney: I picked the right tie didn't I?
Ted: You nailed it.

Marshall: There's babies everywhere. It's like a minefield of cuteness. Look at this little bastard.
Lily: This sonofabitch has knee dimples! Let's go tell everyone I'm pregnant!

The only person who loves Ted Mosby more than Marshall Eriksen, is drunk Marshall Eriksen!

Marshall

Lily: You're drinking for two tonight baby.
Marshall: I will do this, for the child.

This isn't just getting laid. This is market research.

Barney

Barney: Here's your toast, single file ladies! No fatties!
Ted: That's ridiculous.
Barney: Yeah you're right, it's Cleveland. Single file ladies!

Ted, you want to nail something at this wedding? Lose the Trapper Keeper!

Barney

The happy couple needs to hear this! Things end, but from the ashes of your statistically probable divorce, hope can rise anew.

Ted

Wow Marshall really took a two-flusher on that one!

Ted

Oh thank God! Barney Stinson needs you right before his wedding, you assume there's at least one dead stripper in the closet.

Ted
Displaying all 10 quotes

How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Episode 1 Quotes

Wow Marshall really took a two-flusher on that one!

Ted

Oh thank God! Barney Stinson needs you right before his wedding, you assume there's at least one dead stripper in the closet.

Ted