How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother "The Rough Patch" Quotes

Barney: We both like scotch. We're both awesome.
Robin: Maybe that's the problem. Maybe there's just too much awesome here.
Barney: Yes. Two awesomes cancel each other out. I'm tired of being canceled out.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Alan Thicke: Lily? Sorry I'm late. I was looking for a van.
Ted: A van costs $25 more.
 • Rating: Unrated

Robin: Neil Young is a Canadian treasure. DO NOT make fun of Neil Young.
Barney: Robin, I would never make fun of a defenseless old lady with vocal cord paralysis.
 • Rating: 4.1 / 5.0

Lily: That's it. I'm coming out of retirement for one. Last. Breakup.
Ted and Marshall: YES!
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: You know what they say about relationships. Every waking moment's a battle.
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: Sorry Ted. I'm my own wing man tonight.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Open it open it open it open it! It's my porn collection. Wait, no it's not. That would be weird.
Ted: It's your porn collection.
Barney: It's my porn collection!
 • Rating: Unrated

Marshall: What'd you get?
Lily: I got squat.
Marshall: What? I thought I saw you take one.
Lily: I did. It's called Squat.
 • Rating: Unrated

Robin: We watched a movie last night
Barney: It was legen... wait for it... gends of the fall. Not that good.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Delivery Guy: I have a sausage pizza delivery
Ted: That sounds the start of one of Barney's videos
Delivery Guy: I don't even know if it's gonna fit in there
Ted: Now you're just quoting it
Delivery Guy: Okay someone has to take this sausage
Ted: Were you in that video?
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite quote from "The Rough Patch?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!