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Royce: I think you owe us an apology.
Ted: No-can-do-ski, baby doll. No-can-do-ski.

Robin: Why don't you say something to him?
Lily: He's from Minnesota. His high school mascot was a hug.

Ah, the ol' ball and chain. Can't wait to make her move out of her beautiful house in New Jersey and make her move into my crappy apartment above a bar!

Jed

Move over Adolf Hitler, there's a new king of comedy!

Ted

I'm Jed Mosly and I am the most powerful, corrupt architect!! [falls out of chair]

Jed

The best baggage is "hates her dad, thinks she's fat when she isn't." Angry sexy on the first date, and by the time you mention breakfast, she's gone! Why do you guys even hang out with me?

Barney

Barney: Ted, please tell me you're not impugning emotional baggage.
Ted: Baggage is good?
Barney: Emotional baggage is the bedrock of America's most important cultural export.
Robin: Porn?
Barney: Actually, it's porn.

Marshall: Please, I don't have any baggage.
Lily: Mommy issues.
Marshall: No.
Lily: Grandmother issues.
Marshall: Nah.
Lily: Great-grandmother issues.
Marshall: I just don't like when she picks me up!

You are so sweet sweet, sweet [Marshall leaves, turns to Robin] Sweet mother of God he's annoying sometimes.

Lily

Ted: Things are going great, but ...
Robin: Ah ...
Ted: That's the issue.
Barney: Her butt?
Ted: No. Everyone has baggage. Things go great until the point where you realize everything's ruined.
Barney: When she turns 30.

Ted, please. It's not that big a deal. I've been left at the altar before too. Three times in fact.

Royce

Barney: Kiss him! Kiss him!
Older Ted: Uncle Barney didn't say "kiss."
Theater employee: Sir, you need to leave. Now.
Barney: This is outrageous. Who the kiss are you?!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 13 in total

How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Episode 23 Quotes

Barney: Kiss him! Kiss him!
Older Ted: Uncle Barney didn't say "kiss."
Theater employee: Sir, you need to leave. Now.
Barney: This is outrageous. Who the kiss are you?!

Marshall: Wait, you actually used Jed Mosly's catchphrase?
Ted: Oh yeah ... How do you know that's his catchphrase?
Marshall: [pauses] Hey, I wanted to see Avatar.

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