How I Met Your Mother

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How i met your mother
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Come on, Ted can't be pregnant... you need to have sex to get pregnant

Robin

I need a drink, do we have any cough syrup in here?

Lily

[playing laser tag...]
Barney: Don't be a hero, Sherbatsky!
Robin: See you on the other side.
Both: Yaahhhhh! Charging!
[Both got shot]
Barney: Damn, wanna get a soft pretzel?
Robin: Sure

Lily: Baby, I need to do something and I can't do it in front of you. It will change the nature of our relationship.
Marshall: What is it?
Lily: I need to pee

[Barney is stripping down...]
Robin: What the hell are you doing?
Barney: I'm birthday suiting up!

The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11 months old

Barney

Robin: Well, it looks like it's gonna be just you and me.
Barney: Really?
Robin: Actually, I was talking to my martini

Future Ted: When you meet someone special, suddenly life's full of firsts: the first kiss, the first night together, the first weekend together. For me, all those firsts happened within 48 hours of meeting Victoria.

Robin: No. I thought we're just hanging out as friends.
Barney: Oh, come on. You've been throwing yourself at me all night.
Robin: What? I did the opposite, I threw some other girl at you.
Barney: You invited me up to your apartment to play Battleship. Is that not an international recognized term for sex?

Displaying all 9 quotes

How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 14 Quotes

Future Ted: When you meet someone special, suddenly life's full of firsts: the first kiss, the first night together, the first weekend together. For me, all those firsts happened within 48 hours of meeting Victoria.

Robin: No. I thought we're just hanging out as friends.
Barney: Oh, come on. You've been throwing yourself at me all night.
Robin: What? I did the opposite, I threw some other girl at you.
Barney: You invited me up to your apartment to play Battleship. Is that not an international recognized term for sex?

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