Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS

Are you sure it wasn't a monkey standing on another monkey's shoulders wearing a trench coat?


People like being lied to. They just don't like finding out they've been lied to.


Barney: Did the robber have five o'clock shadow and a ski cap?
Marshall: Yes, because I was robbed in 1947 at the corner of Abbott and Costello.

I'll believe Jack Palance is dead when I see the body.


People want the lie. They need the lie!


Marshall, there's a cartoon of you on our coupon.

Pizza Guy
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