How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother Quotes (Page 5)

Episode 3: "Ducky Tie"

Barney: Duck duck gross!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 2: "The Naked Truth"

Marshall: Bow down to Beercules!
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Ted: I don't want to be choosing between two girls. I want to be a complete head over heels idiot for one!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: This was bound to happen eventually. I've been trying so hard to suppress like my carefree idiot side that it just rebelled and came out swingin'.
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: And that concludes all the space related lies. Let's move onto the world of sports. Oh wait sorry, I just thought of another space one. I've been bitten by a moon snake, you need to suck all the space poison out of my...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: If I were only casting the White Swan, the role would be yours.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pete: Well I'm sorry we could not do business together but if you'll excuse me I am in the middle of a game of Edward Forty Hands and the competition is fierce!
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: Nines and tens mostly, there was a four once. She was a slump buster, but Nora after that I had a run you would not believe!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: Robin, get me my legal pad. It's Pros and Cons Time!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Whoa did someone say generous endowment? I'm Marshall Eriksen, but you can call me, Beercules!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: Wait a minute. You're going to date two girls at once? Don't you think you should just choose one before it gets serious?
Ted: Define serious.
Lily: Well that's complicated. I guess you have to weigh expectations, emotional investments...
Marshall: Third base, serious at third base.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: I did it again!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: You didn't ruin a wedding, just the reception.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 1: "The Best Man"

Barney: I picked the right tie didn't I?
Ted: You nailed it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: There's babies everywhere. It's like a minefield of cuteness. Look at this little bastard.
Lily: This sonofabitch has knee dimples! Let's go tell everyone I'm pregnant!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: The only person who loves Ted Mosby more than Marshall Eriksen, is drunk Marshall Eriksen!
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Lily: You're drinking for two tonight baby.
Marshall: I will do this, for the child.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Barney: This isn't just getting laid. This is market research.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Barney: Here's your toast, single file ladies! No fatties!
Ted: That's ridiculous.
Barney: Yeah you're right, it's Cleveland. Single file ladies!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Ted, you want to nail something at this wedding? Lose the Trapper Keeper!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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