How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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Barney: I've had sex in Ted's bed 14 times.
Ted: I asked if you wear shoulder pads.

Ted: Uh Barney who's taller, me or you?
Barney: You're taller, I wear lifts in all my shoes.

Screw tomorrow, lets go big tonight.


Look at this thing! I'll never have cold pizza again! I'll never have cold pizza again...


Suit like that only needs one button, self destruct.


Chicago? Is that even a real place?


I don't need objectivity. You're my best friend, I just need your support.


I love Barney, but I'm not going to jail for him.


Robin: I'm sorry I don't have time for your drama right now, my fiancé is missing.
Lily: Marshall got picked to be a judge. He took the job without even asking me. Italy's off.
Robin: I have time for your drama.

The no more surprises thing is the best part of being married.


Robin: Take a good look at this face Barney OK? Cause it will be useful for the future. This is my pretty mad face.
Barney: Well then we've got a problem, cause it looks a lot like your pretty hungry face.
Robin: I'm missing the bacon wrapped figs!

So many great things about this girl. Her boobs, her rack, her chest.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 1449 in total

HIMYM Quotes

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.


You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.