Season 5, Episode 7: "The Rough Patch"
Robin: Neil Young is a Canadian treasure. DO NOT make fun of Neil Young.Barney: Robin, I would never make fun of a defenseless old lady with vocal cord paralysis.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Lily: That's it. I'm coming out of retirement for one. Last. Breakup.
Ted and Marshall: YES!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney: You know what they say about relationships. Every waking moment's a battle.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney: Sorry Ted. I'm my own wing man tonight.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney: Open it open it open it open it! It's my porn collection. Wait, no it's not. That would be weird.
Ted: It's your porn collection.
Barney: It's my porn collection!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Marshall: What'd you get?
Lily: I got squat.
Marshall: What? I thought I saw you take one.
Lily: I did. It's called Squat.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Robin: We watched a movie last night
Barney: It was legen... wait for it... gends of the fall. Not that good.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Delivery Guy: I have a sausage pizza delivery
Ted: That sounds the start of one of Barney's videos
Delivery Guy: I don't even know if it's gonna fit in there
Ted: Now you're just quoting it
Delivery Guy: Okay someone has to take this sausage
Ted: Were you in that video?
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Barney: He's not a doll, he's a storm trooper
Robin: Then why's he wearing a diaper?
Barney: That's not a diaper, that's protective armor
Robin: More like storm pooper
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Lily [about breaking people up]: I've gone legit I'm done with that racket, I'm now a matchmaker
Ted: Set me up with someone
Lily: Woh, I'm just starting out
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 655
