Season 5, Episode 4: "The Sexless Innkeeper"
Random Girl: How's grading?Ted: You just gotta make it fun, every time I see a grammatical error, I do a shot. Right now I'm smashed and I blame the public school system.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney: Ahh tweed, the official fabric of the eunuch
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Season 5, Episode 3: "Robin 101"
Ted [to Robin]: I've seen barney try really hard to get women, I've seen barney try really hard to get rid of women, but I've never seen barney try so hard to keep a woman• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Ted: When you date someone it's like you're taking a class in them and when you break up it's like all that knowledge is useless. It's the emotional equivalent of an English degree
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Ted: Pop quiz. When robin is PMSing what kind of chocolate should youg et her?
Barney: Trick question. Get her butter scotch.
Ted: Correct. Why?
Barney: Butter scotch is to Canadian women what chocolate is to American women
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Barney: I can't believe I'm taking sexual advice from Ted Mosby, that's like taking fashion advice from well... Ted Mosby
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Ted [about a picture of Robin with nostrils flaring]: If you ever see this face, whatever you do, run and do not take a picture or she will punch you.. and you will cry.. for the third time... that night
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Ted: You were like the worst student in the world, weren't you?
Barney: They said I AD...something... can we have class outside?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Ted [about Robin]: Don't cry in front of her, and whatever you do, don't cry in front of her four times
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney: Funny thing, and this is just me, I like my balls attached to my body instead of rolling around next to some eyeliner in Robin's purse. Stinson out.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 655
