Season 1, Episode 4: "Return of the Shirt"
Robin: So, next time you're passing City Hall, make sure and stop by New York's oldest hot dog cart. Today a delicious hot dog will cost you $2.50, but back when the stand first opened in 1955, you could get one for only a nipple. Reporting live, Robin Scherbatsky, Metro News 1• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Robin: So I'm not gonna jeopardize my promotion by saying "booger" for 50 bucks.
Barney: Of course not, because now you're saying "nipple" and it's 100. Step into my web
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Barney: There are only two reasons to date a girl you've already dated: breast implants
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Season 1, Episode 3: "Sweet Taste of Liberty"
[Barney and Ted at airport picking up girls]Barney: Follow them, tickets on me.
Ted: No! Barney! Don't you get on that escalator! And don't you dare get on that subsequent escalator
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Barney: Do you ever go behind the rope and touch it?
Dana: Only all the time.
Barney: Do you ever like, stick your head inside it?
Dana: Yeah.
Barney: Have you ever licked it?
Dana: Nope...I have never licked it.
Barney: I bet nobody in history has ever licked the Liberty Bell. If someone were to pull that off, I daresay it would be, what's the word? Legendary!
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Ted: My friend does this thing where he goes to the airport and leaves fake luggage in order to meet women.
Airport Security Guard: No one is that lame.
Ted: He is. He is that lame. Barney, tell them you're that lame.
Barney: We are international businessmen
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Barney: You're in a rut.
Ted: I'm not in a rut. I have a routine.
Barney: Ted, what is the first syllable in rut-tine?
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Barney: Look, our forefathers died for the "pursuit of happiness," okay? Not for the "sit around and wait of happiness." Now if you want, we can go to the same bar, drink the same beer, talk to the same people every day or you can lick the Liberty Bell. You can grab life by the crack and lick the crap out of it.
Taxi driver: That was beautiful, man
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Ted: Why can't we go to McClaran's?
Barney: McClaran's is boring. Let's go to the strip clubs. We're gonna go out, we're gonna meet some ladies, it's gonna be legendary. phone five!
[Barney does a high five with his cellphone.]
Future Ted: I had no idea why I hung out with Barney.
Barney: You didn't Phone-five, did you? I know when you don't phone five Ted! [while motioning with his hand] McClaran's is this much fun. But what I'm offering is the chance to have THIS much fun!
Ted: [also using his hands] See, you always say that, you always say it's gonna be THIS much fun, but it always ends up being this much fun. This much fun is good. It's safe.
Barney: This whole hand signal thing doesn't really work over the phone, does it?
Ted: No, it doesn't
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Ted: Don't say legendary. You're too liberal with the word legendary.
[Flashback...]
Barney: We're building an igloo in Central Park. It's going to be legendary! Snowsuit up
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Total Quotes: 655
