Season 5, Episode 2: "Double Date"
Marshall [to Barney]: Ooh girlfriend troubles, I wish I could help you but my totally awesome wife just bought me a lap dance with her body double. If you need me I'll be getting grinded like some pepper in the champagne room• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney: I don't come here that often
Waitress: Hey Barney, here's your usual and I'll send you your other usual when she's done stretching
Barney: Thank you kindly, stranger
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jen: We're going to die alone aren't we?
Ted: Well, you'll have your cats
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney: Guess who got four tickets to the the origins of chewbaca exhibit?
Lily: Why?
Barney: No, I said who
Lily: I heard you
Robin: Isn't it a little early in our relationship to be doing things that would end our relationship?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Season 5, Episode 1: "Definitions"
Ted [about Barney and Robin]: You do realize that they were lying to youLily: No, they don't realize that they weren't lying
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Robin: Unless I say fluggelhorn, you haven't gone too far
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Student [to Professor Mosby]: T-dawg, you're in the wrong room bro
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Marshall: Just once I wish you guys would call me on tuxedo night
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Barney: I'm always punching guys, girls, I'll even punch a baby, I don't care
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Barney: How do you keep a girl from becoming your girlfriend? Simple, the rules for girls are the same as gremlins. Rule number one: never get them wet. In otherwards, don't let her take a shower in your place. Rule number two: keep them away from sunlight. i.e don't ever see them during the day. And rule number three: never feed them after midnight. Meaning she doesn't sleep over and you don't have breakfast with her, ever
Ted: What about brunch? Is brunch cool?
Barney: No Ted, brunch is not cool
• Rating: 9.8 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 655
