Season 5, Episode 1: "Definitions"
Barney: You still seeing that guy?Robin: Even better, seeing him naked
Barney: I shoud go see this Chinese girl I met.. I just had her last night and I already feel like seconds
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Barney: That, my friends, is the dominator 5000, the best bull whip on the market according to my whip guy. Yeah, I have a whip guy. [makes whip sound]
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Robin: We kept trying to have the talk, and then we realized we hate the talk.
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Season 4, Episode 24: "The Leap"
Lily [about Barney asking Ted for permission to tell Robin his feelings]: He said that? Oh my god!! What a ground-breaking tremendous surprise!Robin: How long have you known?
Lily: Eight months!
Robin: And you've kept it a secret since then? Good for you!
Marshall: Yeah! Wow! Good for you Lily! I mean what a bombshell! Who saw that coming!?
Robin: How long have you known?
Marshal: Seven months, twenty nine days
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Nurse: So you're the guy who tried to make it with a goat?
Ted: If anything that goat tried to make it with me. Can I go please?
Nurse: You can go, buddy, just remember bahhh means bahhh
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Marshall [on why Robin is just eh]: Oh honey you're very pretty, but you're freakishly tall and don't believe in ghosts
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Lily [to Robin about Barney]: You're going to break his... you're going to break whatever it is that pumps that black sludge through his veins
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Marshall: Lily, when Evel Knievel sat his stride to star spangled rocket to the on the rim of Snake River Canon, do you think his wife said get down from there?
Lily: For the last time I am not Linda Knievel. I will never be Linda Knievel
Marshall: You don't need to remind me
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Barney: Say you and I went suit shopping and you happened upon a beautiful suit, a beautiful Canadian suit, double breasted.. mmm... You try it on, but it's not exactly the right fit for you so you put it back. Then I try it on. I don't really want to take the same suit you had your eye on, but at the same time I really like that suit
Ted: Buy that suit Barney. You clearly care about it. Tell the suit how I feel
Barney: Okay. But Ted, remember that was your answer because the suit was Robin...
• Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink
Season 4, Episode 23: "As Fast As She Can"
Ted: Okay, I'm going to say something out loud that I've been doing a pretty good job of not saying out loud lately. What you and Tony have, what I thought for a second you and I had, what I know that Marshall and Lily have, I want that. I do. I keep waiting for it to happen. I'm waiting for it to happen. I guess I'm just tired of waiting. And that is all I'm going to say on that subject.Stella: I know that you're tired of waiting. And you might have to wait a little while more but, she's on her way, Ted. And she's getting here as fast as she can.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 655


















