How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Quotes
You probably want to feel bad for your old man at this point in the story. Well, don't. Not every night has a happy ending. But all of it's important. All of it was leading somewhere. Because suddenly, it was 2006. And 2006 was a big oneFuture Ted
- Permalink: You probably want to feel bad for your old man at this point in ...
Marshall: I couldn't find Lily at party number three so I walked... I walked to the next party on the list.
Ted: Not Moby's party?
Marshall: Yes, Moby's party. Check it out. He signed my shirt. [shows the back of the shirt where the name "Eric" is written]
- Permalink: I couldn't find Lily at party number three so I walked... I walk...
Barney: We couldn't go back for Natalya, a human being, but we do have time for hot dogs?
Marshall: Yeah, we like hot dogs
- Permalink: We couldn't go back for Natalya, a human being, but we do have t...
Barney: Oh, wait, wait, wait. We have to turn around. We left Natalya.
Lily: Barney, none of us really liked her.
Barney: Oh, very nice, Lily. You know, she is a guest in this country. So while you may choose to turn your back on her, I choose to turn my front on her
- Permalink: Oh, wait, wait, wait. We have to turn around. We left Natalya. ...
Ted: Wait, you're really going out with a billionaire?
Robin: He's not a billionaire. He's a hundred millionaire. Why do people always round up?
Ted: So, where's Thurston Howell taking you?
Robin: A charity dinner.
Lily: Yeah, $2000 a plate.
Robin: $1500. Stop rounding up. And it's for third world hunger
- Permalink: Wait, you're really going out with a billionaire? He's not a b...
Carl the Bartender [to Lily and Marshall]: If he pukes, you're cleaning it up.
Ted: I haven't puked since high school. I'm vomit-free since '93
- Permalink: If he pukes, you're cleaning it up. I haven't puked since high...
Your brain screws you up Ted. It gets in the way. It happened with Robin, it happened with half-boob... and it's gonna keep on happening until you power down that bucket of neurosis, inebriation styleBarney
- Permalink: Your brain screws you up Ted. It gets in the way. It happened wi...
Ted, I believe you and I met for a reason. It's like the universe was saying, "Hey Barney, there's this dude, he's pretty cool, but it is your job to make him awesome"Barney
- Permalink: Ted, I believe you and I met for a reason. It's like the univers...
Ted: Yea and say what? What's our big opening line?
Barney: I was uh...."Daddy's home".
Ted: Daddy's home?
Ted: Okay, you..you want us to go over there, right now, and say to those girls, "Daddy's home." Really think about that, Barney.
Barney: Hmm...yea, I think it's pretty solid
- Permalink: Yea and say what? What's our big opening line? I was uh....Dad...
Trudy's friend: I'm just surprised you didn't dump him sooner.
Trudy: I know, it's two years of my life I'm never getting back. A little part of me just wants to jump the bones of the next guy I see.
Barney: Daddy's home.
Trudy: Or the one after that
- Permalink: I'm just surprised you didn't dump him sooner. I know, it's tw...
Lily: You know who might have something to say about Ted's future with Robin? Robin. Go wake her up.
Ted: Wake her up and say what?
Barney: Daddy's home
- Permalink: You know who might have something to say about Ted's future with...
Hey, it's me again. Look, who are we kidding? You and I are both attracted to each other. We're young, we're drunk, half of us anyway. And we only get one life, so why don't you come over to my apartment and we'll think of something stupid to do together?Ted [on the phone]
- Permalink: Hey, it's me again. Look, who are we kidding? You and I are both...
Barney [playing laser tag, on phone with Ted]: Hey, loser. How's not playing laser tag? Because playing laser tag is awesome! [kid fires at Barney as he runs by] Oh, I killed you, Conner! Don't make me get your mom!
Ted: Hey, listen, I need your help on something.
Barney: Okay, meet me at the bar in 15 minutes. And suit up!
- Permalink: Hey, loser. How's not playing laser tag? Because playing laser t...
Victoria: I will tell you my most humiliating story.
Marshall: Yeah, Victoria! Way to step up.
Victoria: OK, it involves a game of Truth or Dare, a squeeze bottle of marshmallow ice cream topping, and the hot tub at my grandparent's retirement community.
Future Ted: ... Kids, I tell you a lot of inappropriate stories, but there's no way I'm telling you this one. Don't worry, it wasn't that great...
Marshall: That is the greatest story ever!
- Permalink: I will tell you my most humiliating story. Yeah, Victoria! Way...