How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Quotes
Ted: I'm going over to this girl's house to make juice.
Taxicab driver: Nice!
Ted: Oh no, it's not like that, we're juicing as friends
Marshall: Well, I'm better friends with Ted than you are.
Barney: That is a lie!
Marshall: It is not a lie.
Barney: Okay, that's it! You and me! I'm not afraid of you!
Marshall: I'll show you things you never seen before!
Barney: I used to box in the Army
Lily: I made you a sack lunch [giggles]
Marshall: I love you because, one, you made me a sack lunch, and two, you laugh every time you say the word "sack."
Marshall: I want to give you the package.
Lily: The package? You've already given me the package, you've got a great package, Marshall, I love your package.
Marshall: Lily, you are the most incredible woman I know. You deserve a big package.
Lily: Your package has always been big enough. You may not realize this Marshall Erickson, but you've got a huge package!
Lily: So if those guys pressure you to smoke, what do you say?
Marshall: Only when I'm drunk.
Lily: Good boy
You're different. Now I suppose you could learn to love yourself for the unique little snowflake you are or you could change your entire personality... which is just so much easier
Barney [to Marshall]
Barney: Marshall, I should feel tremors of psych-itude rock my body like a seizure. That was like a declawed, pregnant cat on a porch swing idly swatting at a fly on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
Marshall: Wow, that was really specific
Here's a professional tip, if it's still runny, it's not a cupcake, it's a beverage
Victoria
Victoria: I'm going to meet Ted for our 2 month-iversary.
Robin: Oh great that answers all of the questions I didn't ask
Short in the front, long in the back, that is the mullet of wedding dresses
Robin
Oh, this dress is totally going to get me laid on my wedding night
Lily [trying on wedding dresses]
Lily [about a wedding dress she just found]: Okay, okay, how much is it on a scale from "never" to "never ever"?
Robin: Never ever, ever ever ever times infinity