How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Quotes
Ted: I'm going over to this girl's house to make juice.
Taxicab driver: Nice!
Ted: Oh no, it's not like that, we're juicing as friends
Marshall: Well, I'm better friends with Ted than you are.
Barney: That is a lie!
Marshall: It is not a lie.
Barney: Okay, that's it! You and me! I'm not afraid of you!
Marshall: I'll show you things you never seen before!
Barney: I used to box in the Army
Lily: I made you a sack lunch [giggles]
Marshall: I love you because, one, you made me a sack lunch, and two, you laugh every time you say the word "sack."
Marshall: I want to give you the package.
Lily: The package? You've already given me the package, you've got a great package, Marshall, I love your package.
Marshall: Lily, you are the most incredible woman I know. You deserve a big package.
Lily: Your package has always been big enough. You may not realize this Marshall Erickson, but you've got a huge package!
Lily: So if those guys pressure you to smoke, what do you say?
Marshall: Only when I'm drunk.
Lily: Good boy
You're different. Now I suppose you could learn to love yourself for the unique little snowflake you are or you could change your entire personality... which is just so much easierBarney [to Marshall]
Barney: Marshall, I should feel tremors of psych-itude rock my body like a seizure. That was like a declawed, pregnant cat on a porch swing idly swatting at a fly on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
Marshall: Wow, that was really specific
Here's a professional tip, if it's still runny, it's not a cupcake, it's a beverageVictoria
Victoria: I'm going to meet Ted for our 2 month-iversary.
Robin: Oh great that answers all of the questions I didn't ask
Short in the front, long in the back, that is the mullet of wedding dressesRobin
Oh, this dress is totally going to get me laid on my wedding nightLily [trying on wedding dresses]
Lily [about a wedding dress she just found]: Okay, okay, how much is it on a scale from "never" to "never ever"?
Robin: Never ever, ever ever ever times infinity