How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother Season 4 Quotes

Season 4 Episode 24: "The Leap"

Lily [about Barney asking Ted for permission to tell Robin his feelings]: He said that? Oh my god!! What a ground-breaking tremendous surprise!
Robin: How long have you known?
Lily: Eight months!
Robin: And you've kept it a secret since then? Good for you!
Marshall: Yeah! Wow! Good for you Lily! I mean what a bombshell! Who saw that coming!?
Robin: How long have you known?
Marshal: Seven months, twenty nine days
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Nurse: So you're the guy who tried to make it with a goat?
Ted: If anything that goat tried to make it with me. Can I go please?
Nurse: You can go, buddy, just remember bahhh means bahhh
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Marshall [on why Robin is just eh]: Oh honey you're very pretty, but you're freakishly tall and don't believe in ghosts
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily [to Robin about Barney]: You're going to break his... you're going to break whatever it is that pumps that black sludge through his veins
 • Rating: Unrated

Marshall: Lily, when Evel Knievel sat his stride to star spangled rocket to the on the rim of Snake River Canon, do you think his wife said get down from there?
Lily: For the last time I am not Linda Knievel. I will never be Linda Knievel
Marshall: You don't need to remind me
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Say you and I went suit shopping and you happened upon a beautiful suit, a beautiful Canadian suit, double breasted.. mmm... You try it on, but it's not exactly the right fit for you so you put it back. Then I try it on. I don't really want to take the same suit you had your eye on, but at the same time I really like that suit
Ted: Buy that suit Barney. You clearly care about it. Tell the suit how I feel
Barney: Okay. But Ted, remember that was your answer because the suit was Robin...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 4 Episode 23: "As Fast As She Can"

Ted: Okay, I'm going to say something out loud that I've been doing a pretty good job of not saying out loud lately. What you and Tony have, what I thought for a second you and I had, what I know that Marshall and Lily have, I want that. I do. I keep waiting for it to happen. I'm waiting for it to happen. I guess I'm just tired of waiting. And that is all I'm going to say on that subject.
Stella: I know that you're tired of waiting. And you might have to wait a little while more but, she's on her way, Ted. And she's getting here as fast as she can.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Barney: License and registration?
Lady Cop: Excuse me
Barney: I can only assume you need a license to have a face that beautiful. And that body? I'm guessing something that explosive has to be registered with the proper authorities
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: You, sir, got Stella thinking: "Gosh, Ted seemed so cool today. Did I choose the wrong guy?" Give it a week, you'll get her back. And her front, oh! Did you feel that? I think we just had a "what up?" quake
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: Tony broke up with you?
Stella: He said it was because of something you said.
Robin: You got Tony to dump Stella?!? I am very sorry, but I'm going to have to insist that you bump this.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: That's a line from a porno. I've seen that porno. Hell, I've made that porno.
Barney: When will you guys realize that the only difference between my real life and a porno is my life has better lighting?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 4 Episode 22: "Right Place Right Time"

Ted: 200 is too many
Barney: Oh right, because there can be too many of something wonderful. Hey Babe Ruth, easy big fellah, let's not hit too many homers. Hey Steve Gutenberg, maybe just make three Police Academy movies. America's laughed enough.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Barney: Petra here, if all goes well, will be my...wait for it 200th! Sorry, I couldn't wait it's all too exciting!
Ted: Your 200th as in...sex with?
Barney: As in sex with. I request the highest of fives.
Ted: Not if I was wearing a hazmat suit.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 4 Episode 21: "The Three Days Rule"

Barney: Jesus waited THREE days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited ONE day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard he died. They'd be all, "Hey Jesus, what up?" and Jesus would probably be like, "What up? I DIED yesterday!" and they'd be all, "Uhh, you look pretty alive to me, dude..." and then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and the dude'd be like "Uhh okay, whatever you say, bro..." And he's not gonna come back on a SATURDAY. Everybody's busy, doing chores, workin' the loom, trimmin' the beard, NO. He waited the perfect number of days, THREE. Plus it's SUNDAY, so everyone's in church already, and they're all in there like "Oh no, Jesus is DEAD", and then BAM! He bursts in the back door, runnin' up the aisle, everyone's totally psyched, and FYI, that's when he invented the high five. That's why we wait three days to call a woman, because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait.... True story
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Barney: Nice! Girls whose names end in LY are always dirty: Holly, Kelly, Karly... Lily.
Marshall: Hey! Oh, yeah, I know it's true
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Barney: You can't call her, you have to wait three days to call a woman. That's the rule!
Ted: Barney, that rule is completely played out. Girls know exactly what you're doing. Hey I got a new rule, it's kind of crazy, it's called you like her, you call her
Barney: I'm sorry, can you repeat that? I don't speak "I never get laid"
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 4 Episode 20: "Mosbius Designs"

Barney: Let's be clear: I don't love [Robin], okay? I just... miss her when she's not around, think about her all the time, and I imagine us one day running towards each other in slow motion and I'm wearing a brown suede vest.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Barney: Marshall, you're no Lily. Lily is a diabolical puppet-master, surreptitiously manipulating every situation to get exactly what she wants. She is pure evil, Marshall. You've got a good one; hang onto her
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Robin: When PJ had a job, he was sexy. He was guardian of the bathroom key. A hot guy telling you when you can and can't pee? That's the dream.
Ted: That's the dream? That's the dream?!?!?! Like what Martin Luther King was talking about??
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Hey food guy! Toy guy! [about guy dressed as ninja]: who's that guy?
Barney: He doesn't work here... I think we should leave the building
Marshall: Really?
Barney: This has happened before
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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