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Lily, no part of Barney Stinson does less than 110%. If one of my Michael Phelps' got loose, he's goin' for the gold!Barney [referring to possibly impregnating a woman]
- Permalink: Lily, no part of Barney Stinson does less than 110%. If one of m...
Stella hated Star Wars! She lied to you. Search your feelings, Ted. You know it to be trueMarshall
- Permalink: Stella hated Star Wars! She lied to you. Search your feelings, T...
Ted [pointing to a map of NYC and referring to places to avoid Stella]: Red areas, places to avoid. White areas are safe. Blue is water.
Lily: That is just ridiculous!
Robin: Well, water is blue
- Permalink: Red areas, places to avoid. White areas are safe. Blue is water....
Ted [to Stella in his dream encounter]: You picked the wrong guy.
Ted: You picked the wrong guy. You made a really, really, really bad choice. What were you thinking? That guy? Are you kidding me? Have you learned nothing in the last eight years? You're just gonna regret this. You know that, right? You are going to regret this, and now there is nothing you can do about it because it's too late. All you can do now is go up there and start your crappy, disappointing life that will never be nearly as happy as the one you could have had with me. Good-bye.
Stella: Ted, wait.
Ted: Look, Stella, I am not here to win you back. I am here because I need to know that you know you made the biggest mistake of your life.
Stella: I know
- Permalink: You picked the wrong guy. Ted? You picked the wrong guy. You...
Berry Blaster Brain revitalizerâ€”My God, some of these drinks can actually make a girl smarter. What sort of hell has Ted brought us to?Barney [at the wedding bar]
- Permalink: Berry Blaster Brain revitalizerâ€”My God, some of these drinks c...
Ted: The lamb here is supposed to be great.
Nora: I am a vegan. I wish I could tune out that moral voice inside me that says eating animals is murder. But, I guess I'm just not as strong as you are.
Ted: That's 'cause you need protein
- Permalink: The lamb here is supposed to be great. I am a vegan. I wish I ...
Stella: I don't know how I feel about Robin coming to our wedding...
Ted: Can I help? You feel glad!
- Permalink: I don't know how I feel about Robin coming to our wedding... C...
Marshall: There's no meat.
Lily: There's no alcohol.
Marshall: It gets worseâ€”I am 90% sure that guy you were talking with used to be lead singer of the Spin Doctors
- Permalink: There's no meat. There's no alcohol. It gets worseâ€”I am 90...
Dear Marshall,Robin [at Marshall's Cat in the Hat hat intervention]
I do not like that stupid hat.
I want to beat it... with a bat.
Or maybe stab it with a fork.
It makes you look like such a dork
- Permalink: Dear Marshall, I do not like that stupid hat. I want to beat i...
Ted [about his intervention]: What was it for? The Crocs? The hair product?
Marshall: Not Stella.
Ted: Oh, my God, this was about Stella.
Marshall: I just said, "not Stella," so maybe it was about your poor listening skills, Ted.
Marshall: It's out of control, see?
- Permalink: What was it for? The Crocs? The hair product? Not Stella. Oh...
Marriage is stupid! Every year there are a million new, hot, 22-year-olds walking into bars, and call me "glass-half-full," but I think they're getting dumberBarney
- Permalink: Marriage is stupid! Every year there are a million new, hot, 22-...
Ted: Robin, could I hear yours?
Robin: "Dear Ted, it's 'encyclo-pee-dia', not 'encyclo-pay-dia'. Why do you always say things in the most pretentious way possible? It makes you sound doucheyâ€”and that's 'douch-ey', not 'douch-ay'."
Ted: Yeah, you already read that one at my Pronunciation intervention. Where's the letter about Stella?
Robin: I didn't write one. I'm your ex-girlfriend. I figured anything I said on the subject would sound catty. Plus, I'm hotter than her, so who cares?
- Permalink: Robin, could I hear yours? Dear Ted, it's 'encyclo-pee-dia', n...