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How-i-met-your-mother

Fun fact. Highest rated Monty and Moo-Moo episode ever.

Ted

[to Robin] Before I met you I'd given up on everything. Relationships. Career. Pants.

Don

I can't wait to tell the gang. This is one of those moments you dream about! Guys ... Lily and I ... are having unprotected sex. I just got the chills.

Marshall

You guys bangin'? Keep goin', I'm not even here. But just for the record? Having a baby? Big mistake.

Barney

Kids, up to this point in the story we had found doppelgangers - eerie but awesome lookalikes for four of the five of our little group. There was lesbian Robin. Mustache Marshall. Stripper Lily. And Mexican wrestler me. Yes, mine was the coolest. So we were all eager to find the fifth doppelganger, Barney's. Turns out it was more important to some of us than others.

Ted

Why is Ellen DeGeneres in our bedroom?

Marshall

The universe in all its infinite wisdom is telling you to stick me and stick me real good.

Lily

Marshall Eriksen, put a baby in my belly.

Lily

Royce: I think you owe us an apology.
Ted: No-can-do-ski, baby doll. No-can-do-ski.

Robin: Why don't you say something to him?
Lily: He's from Minnesota. His high school mascot was a hug.

Ah, the ol' ball and chain. Can't wait to make her move out of her beautiful house in New Jersey and make her move into my crappy apartment above a bar!

Jed

Move over Adolf Hitler, there's a new king of comedy!

Ted
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 267 in total

How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Quotes

Barney: Barney Stinson is back on the market. Mothers, lock up your daughters. Daughters, lock up your MILSWANCA's.
Marshall: MILSWANCA's?
Ted: Oh wait, I can get this. Mothers I'd Like to Sleep With and Never Call Again
Barney: Correct, circle gets a square

My panties would hit the floor so hard they'd end up halfway to China.

Robin
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