How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Quotes (Page 7)

Season 5 Episode 15: "Rabbit or Duck"

Barney: Magic phone guys - magic phone.
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: I've enlisted Ranjit's services as my personal driver because for the next week I'll be sleeping with hundreds of women and I don't want to take the subway because, you know - germs.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Robin: Dibs on his wings.
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: Keep your eyes peeled for a red sweater. Based on her texts, she's dirty, dyslexic, and wants to 96 me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 14: "The Perfect Week"

Marshall: You smeared the Pu name.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lily: Ok, let me try to Canada this up for ya, eh?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Jim, there's nothing routine about the way I get down.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: Like I'm totally going to sit my kids down and talk to them about the time Barney nailed seven chicks in a row.
Future Ted: Am I a bad dad?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Ted, jeez, when are you gonna get your life together?
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney's boss: I know this week has been tough on you.
Barney: I barely slept.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Thanks Jim, I couldn't have done it without my teammates.
 • Rating: Unrated

Robin: My panties would hit the floor so hard they'd end up halfway to China.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Whatever girl I'm pointing to right now - I am going home with her tonight.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim Nantz: And not a single fatty - that's impressive.
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: That woman nursing a Black Russian is about to chase it with a White American!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 13: "Jenkins"

Marshall: First of all, come on buddy, you can't handle the fudge.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Robin: Dude you are so the reacher, you are getting her a horse.
Marshall: What?
Robin: Take the hint, take the hint.
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Robin: Every relationship has a reacher and a settler.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Barney: And there's about to be one more story - I'm gonna bang Jenkins.
Ted: Wait you want to have sex with Jenkins?
Barney: With Jenkins, on Jenkins, near Jenkins - you name it. I wanna wear Jenkins like a sock.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: It happened! Do you have any...split pea left?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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