How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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We need to get these bitches drunk!

Robin

Excuse me waitress? I'll have a mojito and you'll have a no seat ho!

Lily

The stink eye walk by? oh hell no! I hope this drink isn't teething because it's about the get nursed.

Robin

Jerry: A magician never reveals his greatest trick, but I'll give you a hint. You've gotta meet the right girl. Who knows, maybe you'll meet her tomorrow?
Barney: Maybe I've met her already.

I'm too far gone, I'm broken.

Barney

Ted: How's the open marriage going? Who was the first to get to five numbers?
Lily: I won that race. My prize, sex in the bathroom.
Marshall: And I won that race!

Look what I just ripped out of the ground!

Jerry

Barney: Hey Jerry, do you really want to be out here like this?
Jerry: Oh sorry small town preacher from the Midwest! Is there a law against dancing?

Marshall: Game on! If I can score five numbers before you can, then we have sex in the bathroom but, if you can score five numbers before me, then we have sex in the bathroom.
Lily: So our usual wager. Deal!

I finally know what it's like to be embarrassed by my dad.

Barney

I want to hang out with Crazy Jerry not Stay at Home Jerome.

Barney

My dad will be all, why don't you marry Robin? You guys were cute together. Deep down you know you were never happier than when you were with her.

Barney
Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 256 in total

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Quotes

Robin: Ted, the future is scary. But you can't just run back to the past because it's familiar. Yes, it's tempting...
Barney: But it's a mistake.

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

Ted