Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

You've been pork free so long you're practically kosher.

Barney

She had a nice face, her booty was in place, but Barney don't chase.

Barney

She was a really great Lazer Tag partner. She's tiny so she's allowed to push kids.

Barney

Desperation Day had come and gone and you have neither gone nor come.

Robin

So that's it? A couple of white Urkels offer you sausages and you're gone?

Robin

Umm, is it getting crowded in here, because I think there are two peas in this pod?

Barney

And she sticks the landing, why don't you start stretching and I'll be right back.

Barney

Barney: Please, you might as well be dog-earing a tear stained bridal magazine while wolfing down the box of chocolates you had delivered to yourself at work from your fiancé that no one has ever met.
Bev: Gerard is real!

Ted: They're actually called British Morning Socks.
Zoë: Don't get in your own way!

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