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How-i-met-your-mother

Lily: It's your turn, I was on point for six straight hours yesterday!
Marshall: Two of those hours were a nap and you know it!
Lily: Let's go to the board!

Get, drunk, of course! Good circling Ted.

Barney

Ted, tonight is gonna be Epic- wait for it...Dary! Wait that's not it, how do I usually say it? Ugh I hate this Quinn girl!

Barney

Last week I went out with a girl whose favorite band was Glee!

Ted

Where has this heavenly vehicle been all my life? Can you hear it's inspiring chant Ted? I think I can get laid, I think I can get laid, it's the little engine with wood!

Barney

Ted: You know what Robin? Been thinking about it, guess it's kind of nice you're such a badass.
Robin: It's pretty badass your so nice Ted.

Robin: Sometimes in life you have to be assertive and stand up for yourself.
Ted: You called her a whore!
Robin: Who wears that much make up?
Ted: Old ladies!
Robin: Who take money for sex, exactly!

Goudas up Ted, don't sleep on the gouda!

Marshall

Marshall: Come on lay some of that classic Scherbatsky mean son of a bitch on me. Treat me like I'm a girl scout trying to sell you cookies.
Robin: Four dollars a box and you're out of thin mints?! You green little...I don't do that!

Barney: Come on Robin, it's my penis we're talkin' about! You've seen her, she's magnificent!
Robin: She?
Barney: Every penis is a girl Robin. Everyone knows that, like ships...and lake monsters.

For God's sake Lily, you're pregnant! For God's sake Ted, Lily's pregnant!

Barney

Your breath reeks of shredded carrots and deceit.

Cootes
Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 156 in total

How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Quotes

Wow Marshall really took a two-flusher on that one!

Ted

Oh thank God! Barney Stinson needs you right before his wedding, you assume there's at least one dead stripper in the closet.

Ted
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