I peed on home plate, I'm not a vandal.


You wanna know what I think? I think if there was an apocalypse, and that guy and his kid crossed my path, and I was hungry, I would hunt them down, and I would rip them limb from limb, and I would sautÈ them with some kale and a light white wine sauce. And then I would take the kid's skull and I would wear it, so that everyone would think twice before they crossed me. Then I would take the dad's bones and I would design an accessory line that I would sell from a bombed out Macy's, because that's what's gonna happen to people who try to take what's mine. When the apocalypse comes, I'll be fine. What about all of you?


Jessica: I didn't finish the book.
Lenore: Nobody cares Jess. Just nod and say "it's lyrical."

We're all cultural tourists. I just fucked an artsy white lady...check.


Ray: Hummus means chick pea in Arabic.
Mrs. Koontz: Oh my God, I can't believe I fucked such an idiot.

This is Arab hummus, Ray. Arabs can't make hummus for sh*t.

Mrs. Koontz

He has this at home, but he prefers dirty whores!

Mrs. Koontz

Where will baby sleep? I don't want to live in garage!

Jessica's Mom

Tanya: Charlie, Mike doesn't even know he's a prostitute.
Charlie: Ho always know it's a ho.

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