Mary: Now you're running around like some sort of munchkin PI because Brandi thinks I mad at her?
Peter: Pretty much.

Stan: Mary, Congratulations...
Mary: I had sex. It worked. So.

Stan: Mary, I've let this slide long enough waiting for the exact right moment to bring up the elephant in the room. Hmm. I did not just say that.
Mary: Well, it seems like you did.

Delia: So who's throwing the baby shower?
Stan: I don't know Delia. Who's pregnant?
Delia: Oh come on Chief, she's been busting buttons for weeks now.

Marshall: Besides I don't mind hanging out with Vic.
Mary: Of course you don't. He's a pint size you with a killer tan.

I tried to tell you, old candy from the bottom of the beauty shop bowl, never a good idea.

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