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Leonard? He's a baby he's not a retired CPA from Scranton.


What the hell is code pink around here? Sending the guy with the mop to look both ways in the parking lot.


Holy crap. Did you go to Costco or buy a Costco?


Don't get all Julie McCoy on me. This isn't the Love Boat. There isn't going to be a double wedding.


Whoa, wait. That's what they're going to drive the kid around in? Some junked out background car from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.


Mary: All I'm thinking now is how I could eat my body weight in blue corn enchiladas, soft beef tacos, and I want to say a side of sauerkraut?
Provo: Sure, who doesn't enjoy Mexican with a side of sauerkraut.

Peter: Peter, Brandi's fiance. Have we met?
Brandi: Ah, yeah. She kind of arrested me.
Peter: That's right. Family dinner. Got it. That was fun.

Major Provo: Well, according to Sue he's been battling insomnia, emotional detachment, disproportionate outbursts of anger. Guess what those are symptoms of.
Marshall: Pregnancy?

Mary: No, not the actually face.
Marshall: Not my favorite face.

Marshall: It's better than Fallujah. That's our new bumper sticker right?
Mary: It's either that or WITSEC: It's not just for mobsters anymore.

Marshall: I told her that was out of the question.
Mary: Well that always works with teenagers, 'out of the question.' Next time maybe take 'over my dead body' out for a spin.

Give my regards to the sweat lodge and / or asylum.

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