It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXFavorite It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Quotes
It’s really sad, but once your brain’s a piece of shit, it’s always a piece of shit
Dee
Mac: Thanks for coming with me, man.
Charlie: Well, you're forcing me too, so, yeah.
This music sounds like whales raping each other.
Mac
All of my instincts and my training are telling me to use this like a weapon.
Mac
I'm gonna save my dad's life!
Mac
I hate listening to people's dreams. It's like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them and nobody's having sex, I just don't care.
Dennis
Charlie: I'm serious I will eat that eraser whole.
Principal: You don't need to eat the eraser to prove your point, you have the job.
Charlie: Are you serious?
Principal: I love your atittude.
Charlie: Sir, I'm not gonna let you down. I'm gonna start cleaning immediately. But, first, can I eat the eraser?
Principal: You're saying you want to eat the eraser?
Charlie: I'm asking you if it's edible cause it certainly smells of grapes.
Principal: I don't think it's edible.
Charlie: Can't I just test it?
Principal: I'd rather you didn't. I might need it later.
Charlie: Alright, you win this one. I'll pick up one of my own and I'll eat that one. That way everyone wins.
Goddamn I hate gin. Dee, you bitch!
Dennis
I'm gonna whip this little bitch in the face if she makes a peep.
Frank
I named him Peter Peter Nickel Eater, because last night in the car he tried to eat a nickel.
Dee
Somebody needs to take care of Mac...because the man is carrying around trash bags filled with Mexican foods.
Dennis
Frank: I opened up to a therapist just once. I was a kid. I got into a fight. The doctor asked me question after question, got me so scrambled up. Next thing I know, I was shanghai'd upstate to a nitwit school. You know what a nitwit school is?
Therapist: I assume you mean a school for the mentally disabled.
Frank (spits pistachio shell): Yeah, not just for nuts in the head, but bodies, too. Back then science was real crude, they stuck us all together. My roommate was a frog-kid. You ever see a frog-kid?