Dennis: Jesus Christ, Frank, who is this man?
Frank: My goddamned brother.

You said he had his guts sucked out of his asshole by a hot tub drain.

Dennis [referring to Gino]

This bimbo is my little brother.

Gino

Gino: He was black.
Frank: Those were the days.

I immersed myself in the culture. Tasting the cuisine. But mostly doing cocaine.

Frank

Everyone's a lot fatter than I expected them to be.

Dennis

What do you want me to do, give all my money to some toll jockey just for riding on a street?

Frank

Charlie keeps a book of dreams and inspirations. They're mostly in pictures and symbols.

Frank

Mac: This brings me no joy at all. I feel nothing. I feel like you stole money from me and bought a shirt.
Dennis: With your money. That is what happened.

Charlie: Principal McIntyre, I recently starting mentoring one of the kids here.
Principal McIntyre: Really? That's odd, because you're a janitor.

Dee: Did you get that orange out of the garbage?
Charlie: I sure did. Can you believe that? Someone threw this away? Perfectly good orange. They were digging at it a little bit and must have given up on it.
Dee: Don't eat trash, Charlie.
Charlie: I'll eat what I want to eat.

I'm getting air. You're sucking it all up with your panicking.

Frank [to Dee]

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Charlie: I'll totally pull a Good Will Hunting on those kids and that'll put them in their place.
Mac: How you gonna do that?
Charlie: Well, you've seen the movie right?
Mac: Yeah.
Charlie: So all I gotta do is, I'll ask them some big shot, like math or science, history-type college question aand that will totally stump them by knowing a lot more about the answer than they do.
Mac: In that movie, Matt Damon played a genius janitor, you're just a janitor.
Charlie: Right, you stumped me with that one.

Mac: He doesn't have any poison.
Charlie: I don't have any on me, but I do keep some in my fridge at home in the relish jar.
Frank: There's poison in that jar? I thought I was allergic to pickles. What's in the jar with the skull and crossbones?
Charlie: Well that's mayonnaise. It's a decoy.
Frank: And the mayo?
Charlie: That's shampoo.
Frank: You're telling I've been putting shampoo on my sandwiches?
Charlie: If you've been using the mayonnaise, then yeah, probably.