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Frank: Well, I figured, you know, cut out the middleman. This way, everybody wins.
Charlie: I don't win.

Dennis, your mother is a dirty, dirty whore.

Frank

Mac: Well, that was awkward.
Charlie: Yes, it was.
Mac: Sort of a private conversation.
Charlie: Very much a family type moment.
Mac: We didn't need to hear any of that.
Charlie: Mm-hmm, not for our ears.
Mac: (After a pause) Wanna go to the strip club

Mac: Well, I feel awful.
Dennis: Well that's what happens when you meet an actual crippled person, you know, it just brings you down.

Charlie [in a wheelchair and army vet attire]: This costume, the chicks is gonna go crazy all over it.
Frank: Maybe you should let me do all the talking.
Charlie: No, it's like shooting fish in a barrel. So watch and learn.
Stripper: Awww, look at you sweetie, what happened?
Charlie: Viet-goddamn-nam, that's what happened! Go get me a beer, bitch!

Dennis: Dee, you scared the shit out of me. What are you doing?
Sweet Dee: Same thing you're doing. I'm not letting dad give all this shit to poor people.
Dennis: Alright, hey I got here first though. I'm taking the plasma TV and I'm taking the fish tank.
Sweet Dee: How come you get to pick and choose?
Dennis: It's not that I get to pick and choose, it's that I'm a man and I'm strong. I can carry heavy things. You're a woman, you're weak and... you can't.
Sweet Dee: You're a woman and you're weak.
Dennis: That doesn't make any sense.
Sweet Dee: You don't make any sense

Displaying all 6 quotes

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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 2 Episode 1 Quotes

Charlie [in a wheelchair and army vet attire]: This costume, the chicks is gonna go crazy all over it.
Frank: Maybe you should let me do all the talking.
Charlie: No, it's like shooting fish in a barrel. So watch and learn.
Stripper: Awww, look at you sweetie, what happened?
Charlie: Viet-goddamn-nam, that's what happened! Go get me a beer, bitch!

Dennis: Dee, you scared the shit out of me. What are you doing?
Sweet Dee: Same thing you're doing. I'm not letting dad give all this shit to poor people.
Dennis: Alright, hey I got here first though. I'm taking the plasma TV and I'm taking the fish tank.
Sweet Dee: How come you get to pick and choose?
Dennis: It's not that I get to pick and choose, it's that I'm a man and I'm strong. I can carry heavy things. You're a woman, you're weak and... you can't.
Sweet Dee: You're a woman and you're weak.
Dennis: That doesn't make any sense.
Sweet Dee: You don't make any sense

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