I'm 200 lbs. I'm as big as my avatar!

I wanna see Charlie do his thing and he's good.

Dennis [stoned out of his mind]

Let's get high in the back office.

Dennis [to Charlie]

Charlie: Why is your face so shiny?
Dennis: I had my face peeled off with chemicals. Wanna know why?
Charlie: Not really.

I'm not drinking bleach.

Bar patron to Charlie

Dee is guilty of sloth...and she's pro-abortion.

Everyone knows who Superman is and it's not you!

Charlie [to Dennis]

You look like Superman.

Dee [to Dennis]

I drank three bottles of champagne and hung out with a stray dog all night under a bridge. It was sweet.

He said 'fire off'...I like that.

Dee [to Dennis]: What in God's name have you done to your face?
Mac: You look like a monster.

I'm going to the crevice!

Charlie

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 7 Episode 9 Quotes

I command you to smite my friends!

Mac [to God]

Mac: Bless me Father for I have sinned.
Priest: What is your confession?
Mac: I'm fat.