What are you looking to do? Flash cook a gyro?

Charlie [to Frank]

What the shit is going on around here?

Frank

How did your friends make you fat? Were they force feeding you?

Priest

I command you to smite my friends!

Mac: Bless me Father for I have sinned.
Priest: What is your confession?
Mac: I'm fat.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 7 Episode 9 Quotes

I'm going to the crevice!

Charlie

I command you to smite my friends!

Mac [to God]