Dee [re: the lawyer]: Wow, what an asshole.
Dennis: You are killing a man, you know that, right?
Doctor: There's a lot of mercy in this decision. I commend it.
Dennis: Technically, we gave the order to him to give to you.
Dee: Yeah, if you feel like commending, if you're in the mood for commending...
Dennis: If you're going to throw some commendations around...

I painted it! And I loved it So I saw an
opportunity to get it back. But now I'm realizing that this painting
is making us all crazy. CRAZY! Hitler's painting! The key to the
Holocaust! Ryan Gosling playing YOU!! Ridiculous.

Charlie [wearing braces]

You know the best thing about time-travel movies, Mac? They're full of surprises!

Charlie

Frank [upside down in a trunk]: It's a goddamn booby trap!
Dee: It's not a booby trap, Frank. It's an empty trunk and you fell
into like a Weeble Wobble.

Yeah, I got into a squirmish with stray Chocolate Lab. I
won't go into details, but sufficed to say that dog is very paralyzed
now.

Cricket

Mac: Frank, where are you? You sound strained.
Frank: I'm stuck in a window over at Pop-Pop's house.

Charlie [Mac has joined Charlie eating disgusting old soup]: This is
why we work well together, ya know? You see free soup, you make a
decision to eat it.
Mac: It's horrible.
Charlie: It's terrible soup, but we have to stick to our decisions, right?
Mac: Yeah I can't go back on it now.

Dee: Are you saying that we have to decide whether or not that old
Nazi bitch lives or dies?
Lawyer: There's that charm.

Frank: Who invited the Jew Laywer?
Lawyer: Not Jewish!

Perfect for ocular patdowns.

Mac [Puts on weird sunglasses]

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 8 Episode 1 Quotes

Frank: Who invited the Jew Laywer?
Lawyer: Not Jewish!

Perfect for ocular patdowns.

Mac [Puts on weird sunglasses]