Girl: You know, you're weird.
Dennis: You have no idea.

Dennis: How many sleeping pills did you give that kid?
Frank: I don't know? 7? 12?

Mac: There's a secret hatch on the airplane that allows me to travel anywhere.
Charlie: Yeah, everybody knows that.

Dude I can't stop drinking now, I'd probably die!

Charlie

He just did because he was thirsty, and he had to pass some time.

Charlie

During the turbulence, she giggled - leads me to believe she's a thrill seeker.

Dennis

Wade Boggs had chicken right before every game, that's why they called him chicken-man.

Charlie

Wade Boggs is alive! He's in Tampa, Florida. He's in his early fifties.

Mac

Dennis: How many beers can we order at once?
Flight Attendant: I'm not sure, no one's ever asked that.

We're trying to do a Wade Boggs type thing.

Mac

First off Wade Boggs is very much alive.

Mac

And then, best of all. Sir Isaac Newton gets born and blows everyone's nips off with his big brains. Of course he also thought he could turn metal into gold and he died eating mercury. Making him yet another stupid (*slaps 'bitch' sticker*) bitch!

Mac

It's Always Sunny Quotes

I was a five star man before the internet and I’m a five star man now. I just gotta shed the dead weight. God damn it!

Dennis

Naked pics online? That's disgusting. On a website? There's so many of them though. Where? Which one?

Mac