I was always the odd man out, you know -- I mean, you know.

Mac

That buzzer sounds awfully loud, huh? Pierces you right down to your soul! I don't like it.

Dennis

I've seen many pigs eat many men -- it was a blood bath.

Frank

Right down the middle is so boring, that's not what the audience wants to see!

Dee

Mac's Dad: Now everyone thinks I'm a rat. They're gonna kill me in here, because of you.
Mac: I'm sorry. I still love you.
Mac's Dad: I don't.

Mac: Tell us more!
Charlie's Mom: Then Luther went in Eduardo's butt for a while.
Mac: Tell us less, tell us less.
Charlie's Mom: Then they both completed on each other -- I was left out of the finale.

Charlie's Mom: I can't lie to my Charlie!
Charlie: Good! Tell me everything!
Charlie's Mom: Okay, they were both here. They were both inside me. Eduardo was in my mouth, and Luther was in my butt.

A man should be able to end his life if he wants -- we're American!

Dennis

Mac: Okay, daddy. I love you dad!
Charlie: Let it go. Let it go.

I've had a few surgical operations to enhance my natural beauty.

Maureen

Come on! You guys own a bar! You guys watch people slowly kill themselves everyday right?

Bill

Yeah, I botched it -- life.

Bill

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Frank: I opened up to a therapist just once. I was a kid. I got into a fight. The doctor asked me question after question, got me so scrambled up. Next thing I know, I was shanghai'd upstate to a nitwit school. You know what a nitwit school is?
Therapist: I assume you mean a school for the mentally disabled.
Frank (spits pistachio shell): Yeah, not just for nuts in the head, but bodies, too. Back then science was real crude, they stuck us all together. My roommate was a frog-kid. You ever see a frog-kid?

No I don't eat dragon, cause, uh, it's not a meal for peasants, it's a meal for kings, and I'm sort of a common man. But they don't eat us, it's a common misconception. They actually eat gold and treasure -- that's why they're always sitting on a pile of it.

Charlie