We can make much money!

Charlie

I don't know if you guys have noticed, but I've kind of had trouble closing it with the waitress.

Charlie

Oh sorry, let me explain. We're doing a Wade Boggs type thing, and that makes me sort of the Bud Selig of the group.

Mac

I need an Advil, a roll of duct tape, a pack of peanuts, and four beers.

Frank

Charlie: It's a Wade Boggs style! Give me another one!
Mac: You know, that's the only ball I have. And I didn't really expect you to hit one.

I can do it just give me the bat I got game.

Charlie

They say I can't drink on a plane. They say I can't bang on a plane. They say I can't be a doctor!? A pilot?!

Frank

Flight Attendant: You've drank 14 beers.
Frank: You don't know that!
Flight Attendant: It's written on your shirt.

Frank: You don't think I'm a pilot?
Flight Attendant: I don't think you're a doctor.

Girl: You know, you're weird.
Dennis: You have no idea.

Dennis: How many sleeping pills did you give that kid?
Frank: I don't know? 7? 12?

Mac: There's a secret hatch on the airplane that allows me to travel anywhere.
Charlie: Yeah, everybody knows that.

It's Always Sunny Quotes

I was a five star man before the internet and I’m a five star man now. I just gotta shed the dead weight. God damn it!

Dennis

Naked pics online? That's disgusting. On a website? There's so many of them though. Where? Which one?

Mac