It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 2 Quotes (Page 3)

Season 2 Episode 6: "The Gang Gives Back "

Mac: All right, kids, how you feeling?
Ducks' Team: Good.
Mac: Good? Doesn't sound good. Are you drinking the Red Bull? Come on, chug 'em down!
Ducks' Player: I feel sick.
Mac: That's the vitamins ripping out the inside of your stomach. That's a good thing, trust me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Waitress: I wrote down my phone number.
Charlie: Wow!
Waitress: Please... please, Charlie, please don't make me regret giving this to you.
(The waitress hands a folded piece of paper to Charlie)
Charlie: No absolu... absolutely not. No, this will be a platonic sponsor, sponsoree kind of a thing. (He unfolds the piece of paper) Oh... no shi... I was so close.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dennis: Now as long as you hurt the other kid as bad or worse than he hurts you, you will have done your job. And I'll be proud of you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dee: You know these guys?
Frank: Ya, from 'Nam.
Mac: You were in Vietnam?
Dennis: Don't get excited Mac, he was in Vietnam 10 years ago on business trip.
Frank: Beautiful country.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 5: "Hundred Dollar Baby"

Charlie: What's that made out of?
Dennis: It's a board, so it's, you know, made out of wood.
Mac: It's like particleboard.
Charlie: That's like harder than wood, dude.
Mac: It's actually softer than wood.
 • Rating: Unrated

Frank: All right, here's what you're going to do. You're going to take all the weight on your neck. Then you're going to jam your legs down and hyper-extend your ankles, and then shoot back up and lock your knees in place.
Dee: Not one of those things sounds right to me. At all.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dee: Are you happy now?! I just punched a hole in my wall!
 • Rating: Unrated

Frank: You're not ready for this fight, you're not...
Dee: Oh, I have an idea, dad! Why don't you shut your fat little monkey face, and hold the bag?!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brianna: You look like a Holocaust victim in pageant makeup.
Sweet Dee: I will eat your babies, bitch!
Frank: Nobody's eating anybody's babies.
Sweet Dee: Come on, let me eat her babies.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 4: "Mac Bangs Dennis' Mom"

Mac: Dennis' mom tried to have sex with me!
Charlie: Interesting...
Mac: Yeah man, she got naked... she came on to me. I mean, that woman is straight crazy, but I think I wanna bang her, man. I know I shouldn't do it...
Charlie: I think you should do it!
Mac: What?
Charlie: Look, an opportunity like this only comes around once in a lifetime right?
Mac: Right!
Charlie: And so you'd be a fool to let it slip through your fingers.
Mac: Yeah! That's what I'm thinking! But... it's Dennis' and Dee's Mom...
Charlie: Well that means that no one ever ever is going to find out.
Mac: That doesn't make any sense...
Charlie: It doesn't have to make sense!
Mac: You're right! I'm gonna do it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Waitress: I'm going to stab him. I'm going to stab his face off!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dee: I am not having sex with you, Charlie.
Charlie: No, it's not sex I want from you. It's sex I don't want from Dennis!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dennis: [after witnessing Mac kiss his Mom at her front door] Oh my God! Ohhh...
Charlie: Yeah... that's a terrible thing... a terrible thing for you to see that.
Dennis: I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him!
Charlie: Wait wait wait! What are you gonna do? Punch him in the face? Throw him? Maybe work the body a little?
Dennis: I was gonna...
Charlie: No no no, that's not gonna help. That's not gonna help and I'll tell you why: It doesn't unbang your Mom.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 3: "Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare"

Mac: You guys can't get welfare.
Dee: Uh, yeah, we can.
Mac: No, you can't. They don't give it to any jackass that walks in here. It's reserved for people who need it, okay?
Charlie: That's true...
Mac: Drug addicts. Mentally disabled. People with dependents, that sort of thing...
 • Rating: Unrated

Drug Dealer: What you need?
Dennis: Uh, one, please.
Drug Dealer: One what?
Dennis: Uh... one rock of crack.
Dee: One crack...
Dennis: A crack rock. Is that enough? Is one crack rock enough? I don't...
Dee: Uh... how much would you recommend for a first-time user?
 • Rating: Unrated

Charlie: Let's all recognize that this is a little awkward situation between friends at the welfare store and let's go our separate ways, okay?
 • Rating: Unrated

Dennis: Hi. I'm a recovering crack head. This is my retarded sister that I take care of. I'd like some welfare, please.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Frank: Charlie, you've got a lot of balls, stealing my money. This shows leadership, I am promoting you to management.
Charlie: That's why I did it.
Mac: That's why I did it too, Frank! I stole lots of your money, what do I get?
Frank: You get d**k, because you are a follower and a thief.
Sweet Dee: How come Charlie...? It's not fair...
Dennis: Why would you do this to us, dad?
Frank: Because you're crackheads, children.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 2: "The Gang Goes Jihad"

Charlie: This is America! You can't just come in here and steal our land from us!
Frenkel: I'm pretty sure that's how this country was founded in the first place!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dennis: Would you guys not use the word "Jew". It makes me uncomfortable.
 • Rating: Unrated

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