I will not suck you and I will not be sucked on by you.

Byron

What do you say we slip into a room....and you two split me open like a coconut?

Byron

Charlie: Are you wearing makeup?
Dennis: I'm always wearing a little bit of foundation but that's not the point.

Frank: Animals should be food, rugs and trophies. Why do you think I'm wearing a leather suit?
Dee: That's leather? I thought it was plastic.
Frank: Who the hell wears a plastic suit?
Dee: I just don't question the things you do anymore.

What do you want me to do, give all my money to some toll jockey just for riding on a street?

Frank

Dee: I'm a hot single woman, he's a hot single man!
Frank: Dee, you're pregnant as shit.

Dennis: We also have the bird with teeth.
Charlie: Wow, okay. And I'm assuming the teeth are fake, yes?
Dennis: Yes. Well they're not really human teeth if that's what you're asking
Charlie: No, I mean did you discover a bird with teeth in this fashion?
Dennis: That does not exist in nature.
Charlie: Okay, I'm not sure, but either way, good glue work.

Charlie: what is your spaghetti policy?
Dee: Are you hearing this? He doesn't belong in a place like this.

They're third dimension glasses. I don't really think they're working because I'm still seeing things in whatever dimension we live.

Charlie

Charlie: What's 3D even stand for?
Dee: Third dimension.
Charlie: What dimension are we in?

Frank: He's been obsessing about this luau thing since we met Duncan under the bridge.
Dennis: My first instinct when you say you meet people under bridges is to berate you.

Charlie keeps a book of dreams and inspirations. They're mostly in pictures and symbols.

Frank

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 6 Quotes

Dee: You've been really stressed so I thought I'd take you to a spa day. Just the two of us.
Charlie: A what day?
Dee: Spa day
Charlie: What is this word, spa? I feel like you're starting to a say a word and you're not finishing it. Spaghetti? Are you taking me to a spaghetti day?

Mac: Mrs. Kelly, why are you doing everything in threes?
Mrs. Kelly: So Charlie doesn't die.