You need to on your tip-top game with your GTL to stay FTD to get the girls to DTF in MIA ... say that 5 times fast.

The Situation

You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody that looks like Rambo, pretty much, with his shirt off.

Mike

GTL. Gym. Tanning. Laundry. That's how you make the guidos.

Vinny

I put the hippopotamus to bed.

The Situation

My boss seems to think that my hair is gonna fall off and go into the ice cream. This hair ain't movin' my dude. 150 miles an hour on the highway on a street bike. Doesn't move. What makes you think it's gonna move in a gelato shop?

Pauly D

I feel like this job is beneath me, I'm a bartender. I do, like, great things.

Angelina

Ron is at the club hooking up with grenades, which is a bigger ugly chick, and land mines, which is a thinner ugly chick, and ... loving life.

The Situation

You better send roses to the house, you feel me?! ROSES, DAWG, WITH PICKLES IN UM!! FRIED PICKLES!! for my sister.

Pauly D

Ok, Kim Kardashian. More like the Rob Kardashian of Staten Island.

Vinny

I don't go tanning tanning anymore because Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning. McCain would never put a 10 percent tax on tanning. Because he's pale and would probably want to be tan. Obama doesn't have that problem. Obviously.

Snooki

Ronnie's new nickname is IFF. The I'm F*%ked Foundation. He's a client and the president!

Pauly D

At one point I splashed water on my face and I realized ... We got grenades! We are in the midst of grenades.

The Situation
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 912 in total

Jersey Shore Quotes

Pauly D: Yo, if she still has coloring books ... she's too young for you, man.
Vinny: If she's got a basket on her bicycle ... she's too young for you man.
Pauly D: If she still has the parental controls on her TV ... she's too young for you bro.
Vinny: If she only owns Snow White on DVD ... she's too young for you man.
Pauly D: If his Keds still light up ... he's too young for you bro.
Ronnie: [laughs]
Pauly D: If she still plays laser tag ... she's too young for you bro.
JWoww: That's me.

I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet, but do not f*ck with me.

Sammi
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