You need to on your tip-top game with your GTL to stay FTD to get the girls to DTF in MIA ... say that 5 times fast.

The Situation

You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody that looks like Rambo, pretty much, with his shirt off.

Mike

GTL. Gym. Tanning. Laundry. That's how you make the guidos.

Vinny

My boss seems to think that my hair is gonna fall off and go into the ice cream. This hair ain't movin' my dude. 150 miles an hour on the highway on a street bike. Doesn't move. What makes you think it's gonna move in a gelato shop?

Pauly D

I put the hippopotamus to bed.

The Situation

I feel like this job is beneath me, I'm a bartender. I do, like, great things.

Angelina

Ok, Kim Kardashian. More like the Rob Kardashian of Staten Island.

Vinny

Ron is at the club hooking up with grenades, which is a bigger ugly chick, and land mines, which is a thinner ugly chick, and ... loving life.

The Situation

You better send roses to the house, you feel me?! ROSES, DAWG, WITH PICKLES IN UM!! FRIED PICKLES!! for my sister.

Pauly D

I don't go tanning tanning anymore because Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning. McCain would never put a 10 percent tax on tanning. Because he's pale and would probably want to be tan. Obama doesn't have that problem. Obviously.

Snooki

It's wake-up-the-whole-entire-house TIME!

Pauly D

At one point I splashed water on my face and I realized ... We got grenades! We are in the midst of grenades.

The Situation

Jersey Shore Quotes

I just heard that you guys were mad at me, but I didn't do anything. So I'm mad at you for being mad at me for no reason.

Pauly D

I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet, but do not f*ck with me.

Sammi