You need to on your tip-top game with your GTL to stay FTD to get the girls to DTF in MIA ... say that 5 times fast.

The Situation

GTL. Gym. Tanning. Laundry. That's how you make the guidos.

Vinny

You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody that looks like Rambo, pretty much, with his shirt off.

Mike

I put the hippopotamus to bed.

The Situation

My boss seems to think that my hair is gonna fall off and go into the ice cream. This hair ain't movin' my dude. 150 miles an hour on the highway on a street bike. Doesn't move. What makes you think it's gonna move in a gelato shop?

Pauly D

I feel like this job is beneath me, I'm a bartender. I do, like, great things.

Angelina

Ron is at the club hooking up with grenades, which is a bigger ugly chick, and land mines, which is a thinner ugly chick, and ... loving life.

The Situation

Ok, Kim Kardashian. More like the Rob Kardashian of Staten Island.

Vinny

You better send roses to the house, you feel me?! ROSES, DAWG, WITH PICKLES IN UM!! FRIED PICKLES!! for my sister.

Pauly D

I don't go tanning tanning anymore because Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning. McCain would never put a 10 percent tax on tanning. Because he's pale and would probably want to be tan. Obama doesn't have that problem. Obviously.

Snooki

It's wake-up-the-whole-entire-house TIME!

Pauly D

Ronnie's new nickname is IFF. The I'm F*%ked Foundation. He's a client and the president!

Pauly D

Jersey Shore Quotes

Whiskey sex is the best. It's when a guy can't have sex for like five hours because he's so drunk. Or his penis is so drunk.

Snooki

I am all natural. I have real boobs. I have a nice fat ass. Look at this sh*t, I mean, come on, I'm hot.

Angie