I'm gonna walk like this now... you don't mess with me... would you fight me?

Snooki

Right now I'm working with the meatballs, and I'm expecting them to slack off, but they're really pulling together and working hard, I don't know how long it's gonna last.

Pauly D

This is my family and I don't want anyone coming in the house and f$#king anything up because I will kill you, I don't care if I'm small, I will kick you.

Snooki

We made a cake for Pauly and not Mike... that's what you get for being a f--king douchebag.

Snooki

Me and you, we have to interview the strippers.

Deena

I wear my heart on my sleeve and it hurts me to think that people don't care.

Mike

[on Mike] That's what you get for being a f--king douchebag.

Snooki

Dropping like flies.

Snooki

Uh, my a** is, like, protruding... Protruding. The word of the day. Use it.

Snooki

Of course, the girls made Pauly a cake. I must be the devil in this house... Pauly's the good guy, and it seems I'm the bad guy a lot of the times.

Situation

The lobster is the size of Schnooki.

Ronnie

I know I'm not the smartest crayon... [but] we can make a party.

Deena

Jersey Shore Quotes

[wasted] I don't need you. I don't NEED you.

Ronnie

Snooki: I'm not white.
Jenni: What are you?
Snooki: Tan.