My mother pulled it together and made it happen. She brought my barber here to cut my hair for my birthday. Best gift I've had in my life.

Pauly D

[about Paula] She's like Triple A. You call her and she's there.


Who does this girl think she is ... You're not DTF with Pauly? Really, you're DTF with Mike? That's absurd, that's just crazy.


I actually like Paula. She might be dirty, grimy, and disgusting but she's just a nice girl.


I have NO TIME to talk to anybody at 4 in the morning. It should be against the law to come to my house at 4 in the morning on my birthday and not give me birthday sex.

Pauly D

Bosnian Girl: Can we just talk in the room?
Pauly D: I'll call the cab.

Pauly is about to go to bed and this poor girl looks like a lost puppy. She doesn't know what to do with herself.


Even though I look like a nut case, I'm really a good girl.


[to Bosnian girl] You can come to bed or I can call you a cab. It's up to you.

Pauly D

This Bosnian chick is so persistent. This chick must want to do something.

Pauly D

[to Vinny] I smooshed a girl in your bed. She was a cougar with tattoos.

Pauly D

[to The Situation] I want grill cheese. In the morning. No crust.

Bosnian Girl

Jersey Shore Quotes

Pauly D: Yo, if she still has coloring books ... she's too young for you, man.
Vinny: If she's got a basket on her bicycle ... she's too young for you man.
Pauly D: If she still has the parental controls on her TV ... she's too young for you bro.
Vinny: If she only owns Snow White on DVD ... she's too young for you man.
Pauly D: If his Keds still light up ... he's too young for you bro.
Ronnie: [laughs]
Pauly D: If she still plays laser tag ... she's too young for you bro.
JWoww: That's me.

I like my boobs.