I hate that guys can [smash lots of people], but girls can't.


[on the bed] My children, Pauly's children, Snooki juice.


Pauly D: I almost seen your cooca!
Snooki: My cooca's out!

Every month, there's a situation.

The Situation

The Situation: Shut your mouth you dirty little hamster.
Angelina: You look like Popeye on crack.
The Situation: You look like a ho.
Angelina: You're a dirtbag and your penis should fall off.

Angelina: I threw away garbages!
The Situation: Garbages?

I'm done! I'm outta here, I'm done!


Jose is definitely getting played. (pauses) Like a piano.


Happy birthday, I f---ed my roommate!

The Situation
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