Legit Season 1 Quotes
Jim: Steve, you have to stay and jerk your brother off.
Steve: Whoa, no way, man. I dressed him up in his date clothes.
They have lives and they hope for things. I never even knew.
Jim
Jim: You were talking to her forever.
Billy: I know.
Jim: What were you even talking about.
Billy: I don't know.
Renee: Were you just doing something dirty?
Billy: No!
Jim: Yes.
I can't move?
Billy
Steve: She's a hooker. Rodney?
Jim: No.
Rodney: Yes.
Jim: Yes!
Yes, but now you're getting into my gum retirement, so no Ramona.
Jim
I've gone further than anyone with my looks and intellect should have ever gone, and I'm miserable because of bloody dreams!
Jim
Look, if everyone in this world who had a crazy mother killed themselves then there'd be very few people walking this Earth.
Jim
I'm gonna get so much pussy.
Jim
I'm a good guy. This is gonna work out great for me. Billy's gonna be the best wingman ever. Girls are gonna be like, "oh you brought your friend in the wheelchair, did you?" and I go, "oh, he's more than a friend. He's my best friend." Oh, we're gonna get special treatment wherever we go. Parking's gonna be amazing. The toilets are gonna be great. We'll be at a ballgame and people will just get out of the way, "Here they come, the cripple and his friend, the good guy!"
Jim
Jim: Is that a look of pleasure.
Steve: No, that is not a look of pleasure.
Billy: I have 13 strangers staring at me, and I don't possess the ability to put away my own cock. How would you feel?
