I get it. The bill won't pass until I'm officially stamped by the house and the senate.

Joe

Nico [holding up dress]: What do you think of this?
Victory: That would impress her if she was a librarian at a women's prison. How did you even put this look together with my clothes?
Nico: I need your help, I'm trying to de-cougarize

Wendy: You've known me for 20 years, you know I don't try on shoes in public.
Victory: Oh, Come on.
Wendy: No no, they marvel at how big they are. They bring out measuring devices.

Joe: How do you think they felt about me?
Victory: I think it went very well
Joe: Really?
Victory: Yea. Joe they met you like 8 hours ago and trust me they never met anyone like you before.
Joe: You think you can frame that so I don't sound like the creature from the black lagoon

The freezer is stocked with dove bars and weed.

Wendy

He left me for someone who sleeps in nightgear!

Nico

Joe Bennett, did you fly me all the way to Paris to get out of dinner with my friends?

Victory

If that was my face on page 6, I would have brought Maddie, Taylor, three Cambodian orphans, and a basket of puppies.

Nico

Kirby: I want to feel like I'm the one you choose
Nico: There's no way I can answer that. Kirby, we're together and it's really good... I love you
Kirby: I love you too..

Ellen: Mr. Ford have you had anything to eat yet? Do you eat fish, curry?
Mrs. Ford: Don't ask him, he only likes three flavors, salt, ketchup, and burnt.

I promised myself I wouldn't negotiate with a terrorist, but here I am.

Wendy [to Janis]

Nico: I thought you got a haircut at 2
Kirby: I did. It's 3:30. Did it already grow back?

Lipstick Jungle Quotes

Nico: Are all these [photos] yours?
Kirby: Yep, my living room doubles at the Kirby Atwood gallery of mediocre art.

Victory: Did you set me up on a date without me knowing it?
Dahlia: I wouldn't exactly call it a date..
Victory: He's cutting my cheese!