White [about his notebooks]: Have you thought about football or bird watching?
Grant: Yeah, maybe when you solve these cases I can move on to bird watching.

If you're looking for some kind of merit badge, you've got the wrong Boy Scout.


Dwight: You know what, I've let the Joker death smile go on long enough, wanna tell me whatís going on?
White: I'm glad you asked. I'm rebranding myself.
Dwight: Wanna give that to me again?
White: Read a magazine article and in order to be the best Whitehead I can be starts with a smile.
Dwight: Long as I've known you you've never read a magazine that didn't have a hot girl or a car on the front.
White: This is the new me, and the new me sees the glass half full.
Dwight: The way I see it that glass is half full of bourbon.

I don't care if it's the foxmeadows gang or the resurrection of Jesse James, we're going to get 'em this time.


White: It's a simile, son, a simile.
Sutton: Actually, Whitehead, it would be a metaphor. A simile is something like your tie is a crime against humanity
White: What's wrong with my tie?
Sutton: Oh, no, I didn't mean it actually was.

Dwight [referring to Whitehead's facial]: Is that why you've got that?
White: A smile? You ought to try it sometime Dwight.

White: That's exactly what this is, ought to give it a try.
Dwight: A facial? No thank you. I'll just keep mocking you for a while.

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