The only thing sitting behind that desk does is give me a big butt.

Lt. Rice

I just wanted to make sure that the good cop showed up for work today.

Lt. Rice [to Whitehead]

I'm not going to carry Tim Mason with me any longer.


You know what matters is what you carry about your dad in your heart.


Dwight Hendricks, do not curse at your mother!


Well, well,well, Elvis is in the building, what about that...

Dwight[ about the movie reels]

Thank you, Whitehead....Detective....


Third grade teachers in dog collars? That's something kinky...

Lt. Rice

Why use a zippo when you have Cleopatra's lamp?

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